Somebody made a decision about your life and you are still preparing your reply.
What fact am I still arguing with?
Over and over you have explained yourself, and nothing has changed.
Who do I still need to understand me?
At any moment you could name exactly who is doing better than you.
Whose life am I using to measure mine?
The person you compare yourself to tried a hundred times. You saw only the one that worked.
What was I proud of until I saw someone doing it better?
Holding on this tight, you will never find out whether they would stay by choice.
Who am I holding on to so hard they cannot move?
Keeping the person from leaving became the whole relationship. Enjoying them was supposed to be the point.
When did I last enjoy them without checking they were still there?
Today’s three. Tomorrow they change.
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The object
Some of what your hands do, somebody showed you. How to keep quiet when you want to say no. How to hold on to someone too tight. Then you did it for years, until it felt like the only way. Every card is one of those hands, caught in the act. You don't get a new one. You learn to catch yourself doing it again.
Why this exists
Everywhere I looked, the advice was the same: breathe, let it go, think positive. Nobody would tell me what to actually look at.
So I made cards that ask instead of soothe. Every card is built around a hand: the one you were dealt, or the one you keep practising. The dark side names a thing you do, like saying yes when you mean no. The bright side is the same hand, doing the harder thing: saying no.
I had a fear of sharing. This deck is me finding out what would happen if I did.
The cards won’t fix you. They were never supposed to. They ask.
— Stefan
Essays
Escape
Article 1: What would happen if you stayed long enough?
Comparison
Article 2: The mirror you pick makes you smaller
